Horse training – Vermont Equine Assisted Coaching

The Way to Peace

Peace seems to be an ever elusive dream we all chase in our lives. Always looking and searching for just a glimmer, just a moment of peace. But, the harder you chase it, the more elusive it becomes. I found peace easy to come by as a child, but as I got older, the more it slipped away. Why? Why is peace so hard to find the older we get? The answer lies hidden within.

I love the natural world and all that’s in it so much! And I always have. Living in suburbia as a child I always found the biggest pines to hide in. Surrounded by the earthy smell, I always felt safe, peaceful and embraced. It was the one place that I could go where there were no distractions, no criticism or judgements. Just peace. No kids teasing me about my “four eyes”, no getting into trouble for feeling and expressing joy at “inappropriate” times, no adults shutting me down for my belief that animals had spirits too and probably more integrity in general than most humans.

As I grew, I learned to behave in a way that wasn’t aligned with my heartfelt beliefs. I learned to fit in. I learned to hide my joy. I learned to keep quiet when I disagreed with the adults in my life. I took off my glasses. I was unknowingly forming unconscious beliefs that my true self with its glasses and unique ideas was ugly, unimportant, didn’t fit in, and didn’t matter. And over the years, my unconscious mind repeatedly proved all these judgements until I believed they were the truth, just ‘how I am’.

My true self was deeply buried beneath these unconscious deeply ingrained false beliefs, suffocating, desperate to be free again. This happens to all of us to different degrees. These unconscious beliefs keep us searching outside of ourselves for solutions that never even get close to the root of our problems. In a sense, we are looking for a solution to the wrong problem in the wrong place. The peace of our true self is deep within, longing to be free.

Finding our way back to peace is a process of searching within, questioning our unconscious beliefs, gently uncovering our true selves, layer by layer. And horses are some of the very best teachers you will find. They lovingly and without judgement help you uncover it all with tremendous patience.

My horses saw the little girl with the glasses hiding in the pine tree. The joyous, free me, and they led me back. They taught me to love the true me.

And this my friends is the only way to peace.

The Power of the Present Moment

I feel stressed.
Circling around and around.
Different situation, same tightness.
Same feeling that “something is not right”
I just feel so tight and rigid.
Nothing seems possible.

Why bother going on?

Why bother indeed…

We seem to always be at war with one another.
We are destroying our beautiful world.
Greed and money overpower human integrity for our fellow humans and our beautiful natural world.

Then why bother?

Because there is a place I can go.
A place where I can still dream.
A place where I think great things are possible.
A place that ignites my fires to continue.
Continue to believe in my dreams.
Continue spreading a positive vibe.
A vibe of love
A vibe of peace
Vibes of goodness.
Vibes that we all play a part,
big and small.
Vibes that we are amazing humans that can accomplish amazing things.

I go down to the barn.
I can feel my horses before I can even see them.
I breathe…
I feel my feet on the ground.
I breathe…
My heart swells with love and gratitude as I meet my horses’ eyes and they meet mine.
“Hello my loves”
I feel the tightness dissipated like a warm morning sun gazing upon the frost.
My body feels softness, sweetness…love, peace, joy.
Warm and relaxed.
I breathe it in.
Again and again.
In and out.
I feel it all deeply.
The tingling through my body.
The warm glow in my heart.
The softness of my mind.
The freedom in this sacredness.
Peace and joy.

The joy in possibility
In my dreams for myself,
For my family,
For the earth and the humans upon it.
I feel free to dream.
I feel the deep vibration of love for all.
I feel the hope that peace is possible.

Carrie Mello
Vermont Equine Assisted Coaching

Are you looking for a gentle and compassionate way to train your horse?

A way that is gentle and compassionate, but still gets you results and your horse’s respect.

Have you tried being gentle, and your horse blows you off? Walks all over you?

Have you tried being “tough” and didn’t find it very fun?

I understand. I paid a lot of money for lessons and programs. Programs and lessons that had me chasing my horse around a round pen or tap, tap, tapping them with the whip until the horse did what I asked.

I hated being this way with my horses. It wasn’t fun for me or my horse.

Yes, I did get the results I wanted, but I felt like “what’s the point’?

I got horses because I LOVE them.

I also tried being very gentle with my training, but then I got pushed around and walked all over.

That wasn’t fun for me either. (Probably more fun for my horses though).

I stopped training my horses altogether. I started to just hang out with them until I could find a different way to be with them.

And you know what I discovered?

I discovered that I could be very gentle and lead with peace. I could train my horses in a way that honored my spirit and theirs. And guess what?

The lack of respect I got when I took a more gentle approach was all about me and had nothing to do with my horses.

I had to uncover what was going on in my mind. I was surprised to find so many unconscious negative beliefs about myself there. I seriously didn’t even know they were there.

These unconscious beliefs circled around and around in my mind, constantly keeping me silently distracted from the present moment.

And the present moment is where all the magic is!

Being in the present moment is where you develop incredible “timing and feel”.

I found it was easy to lead with peace once I cleared all the clutter from my mind.

I now love leading and training my horses. They still challenge me, but it doesn’t matter because my mind is clear, so my actions are clear, and my horses see me as a leader because they trust this clarity of mind. It’s the way of the horse. They love it just as much as I do.

Train yourself first, then lead your horse with peace.

Carrie Mello

Vermont Equine Assisted Coaching

Why I do what I do.

Why do I bother to do what I do?

I have a strong desire to be of value and contribute to the world in some way.

Previous to my coaching journey and starting a new career at the age of 50, I was a stay at home mom. I have four children that I homeschooled. I knew this was the greatest contribution I could give back to the world. Raising my kids consciously. I really felt honored.

We lived in nature, off-grid. We made our own entertainment and enjoyed life immensely. I was motivated to live this way because it felt right to me. I believe having more time is more important than having stuff. I believe children should grow up with people who love and cherish them. I believe playing was just as, if not more important than schoolwork. And I believe connecting to nature every single day is just as important as eating and drinking.

I wanted my children to develop into themselves, with their free wills intact as adults. This takes an enormous amount of mindfulness. Letting your children develop in this way. It is quite beautiful.

This life was incredibly satisfying to me. I felt extremely fulfilled and content. It was wonderful.

But then, My kids grew up.

I felt purposeless.

I was depressed.

I had the best job in the whole wide world and then poof it was gone.

I had put my heart and soul into raising my family. The laughter, the tears, the exploration of the new-fallen snow and daily long robust meals shared remain in memory, but my wonderful children, their free wills intact, are launched into the world, and my heart and soul were bursting with pride but aching with “Well, now what?”

I spent a lot of time with my horses during those times, drawn into the herd. And back then, I was unaware of exactly what was happening, but all I knew was that whatever it was, it was amazing and replenishing something deep within me that I thought had been lost.

Connecting with my horses was natural for me. I had an easy knowing of what my horses really wanted and felt. I loved spending time just listening to them – their breathing, the whoosh of their mane, the munching of hay, just being with them. They wanted connection and in return, I got a deep peace and tranquility that only being an accepted member of the herd can create.

And from that magical place, my heart and soul sang out – “This. This is what is next.” Teach and share this with the world. A career with my herd. A career sharing peace and authentic connection. A career doing something I love almost as much as my children.

But how? Connecting with my herd was natural and easy for me. But to teach and share it as a concrete concept without all the woo-woo? Interesting challenge, but my heart and soul were restless and “this” needs sharing.

Three certifications later – The Academy for Coaching with Horses, The Life Coach School, and The HeartMath Institute. I had everything I needed – an approach to connection, an approach to life, a deep love and respect for what my herd taught me so freely and a deep desire to share.

The result? Authentic Leadership Through Genuine Connection.

Genuine connection with myself is what I was learning when I was drawn to my herd while raising my children. I thought it was lost but it was only waiting quietly. My herd filled it. My heart and soul knew it. But I had never put it together in such a way that it ever really sank in and took affect on my own life, until now. I wanted to share my process and what worked for me in a very practical and easy to understand way.

And now I do. And I LOVE it. I love partnering with my herd. They are fantastic examples of Authentic Leadership, therefore, the superb role models and most amazing coaches ever!

So, why do I bother to do what I do?

Because I LOVE IT! and the world needs it!

Carrie Mello

Vermont Equine Assisted Coaching